Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
