I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
