No, drunk sperm still make babies.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
