I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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