Don't make out with my wife yet
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's like heaven, but drunker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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