Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
