I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
