I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
