I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize