cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
