I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
