I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize