just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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