so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
