now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize