Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
