the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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