just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
