names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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