Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
