I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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