Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
