At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
