We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
