Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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