Will you blow on my dice?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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