some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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