Apparently you make a good broom.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
