if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
