Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
