So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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