they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
