Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
