I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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