ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
