i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
