I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Randomize
