nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
