I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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