He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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