I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
