3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
