He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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