Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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