I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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