real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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