gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
