According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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