Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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