I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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