I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??