YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."