i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help