i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"