and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
