Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
