Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
