hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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