End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
