you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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