Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
