physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
