Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
