Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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