someone threw a dead crab at me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
