you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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